I Don't Know

I don’t know.

I don’t know who can hear my voice.

I don’t know who would help me now.

I don’t know who would even try.

I don’t know what it will take to change it.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know what could make things right.

I don’t know when it became so complicated.

I don’t know when it became so hard.

I don’t know when things will get better.

I don’t know where this path ends.

I don’t know where I’m going.

I don’t know where it began.

I don’t know why it is this way.

I don’t know why no one will listen.

I don’t know why anyone would care.

I don’t know how I can live like this.

I don’t know how life continues day to day.

I don’t know how to continue.

I don’t know.

I just don’t know.

Hatred

I hate you all.
I hate each and every one of you.
I hate YOU, Society, and the way you look at me and others like me in fear.
You force us to hide in the shadows, worried what might happen if we are found.
You reject and spit on us, tearing at our cloths.
You mock us and beat us because we don’t fit into your world view.
You torture us in your attempts to force us to conform.
I hate you for that and I hate everything that you stand for.
You think that we are a disease, afraid we might spread.
You hate us.
You make us weep tears of pain and fear.
I hate you for that.

I hate YOU, Mom and Dad.
You couldn’t accept me as I am.
You turned your back on your daughter.
You blamed yourself because she was a freak.
You didn’t show her the love and acceptance that she yearned for.
You told her that she was wrong and needed to be locked away.
You turned a blind eye when the gun was in her hand.
You looked away, not trying to understand.
You made her kill a part of herself, doing irreparable harm.
You disgust me with what you did to me.
You probably think you were doing the right thing.
But you broke my heart.
You left me in the dark with nowhere to go.
You thought that I would bring shame for being the freak that I am.
You told me to forget what had happened and never speak of it again.
I can’t forget and I won’t, it consumes me.

Most of all, I hate YOU, God.
You who put me here
You who made me like this.
You hurt me in ways I can never describe with words.
You brought me into this like some sick joke.
It’s ALL your fault, every last bit.
I loathe you.
I despise you.
You set things into motion.
You wrecked my life before it even started.
I will never forget what you did to me.
You made me broken, an unfinished product.
You cast me down into a world of pain.
You know I hate you.
But you know what the worst thing of all is?
I know you don’t care. 
You cast me aside like an afterthought.
I hate you so much.
I hate YOU.

Repetitious Deaths Of A Pained Soul Never End

I am killing her once again.

I should have known it would never work.

I am killing her once again.

No one understands, they grin and smirk.

I am killing her once again.

I thought I could trust the one I love to understand.

I am killing her once again.

I should have known it could not be in this land.

I am killing her once again.

I know that she will come creeping back.

I am killing her once again.

My heart will be broken, torn by a huge crack.

I am killing her once again.

This world for me is a cruel, dark place.

I am killing her once again.

This is an effort to once again hide her face.

I am killing her once again.

I am disappointed, hurt, wanting to be free.

I am killing her once again.

People just don’t understand that she is me.

I am killing myself again.

Before Thought

Before thought, before inspiration, there is nothing.

Nothing is emptiness.

Emptiness is void, waiting to be filled.

The possibilities are endless.

As you look at the void, imagine what could be.

Anything could come of it.

Restricted by only you, it exists for creation.

It is what you make it.

The worlds that could come, the characters you could meet.

The stories you could tell.

There are countless paths to be chosen and followed.

It will make your imagination swell.

As it grows the sights, the sounds will fill that void.

It will open, your playground to be.

No matter what you wish, you can do anything there.

The limit is you, don’t you see?